Oh my…

Oh my God… kiss me kiss me… I’ve just submitted the ever-torturing literature review aka journal summary for this Retail Management subject to my group leader. I am feeling so so so, I mean, real much more lighter compared to the few days back zombie-me. Basically it made me like a zombie was because no quotings were allowed in the writings, which meant everything had to be from my brain. So understanding the journals was a MUST. And I was responsible for two journals, one with 8 pages and another with 22…! But anyway, things ended, finally! Although there will still be further reports to be written for this subject and Sales Management subject soon, but I guess they won’t drag me down so much, as more time frame were given, and they’re more intellectual based with the help of journals - I can goreng my own stories and they’re not that much of restrictions.

Aight, put those academic thingy aside - and share my moments of carefree-ness for a while.

I finally found myself this two numbers from the Internet. It was like a fruitless search for the past twenty years… so rare and I guess not many people know them. Couldn’t even see them in P2P… I bummed into them when I was watching a HK drama series “Dreams of Colours” few years back. Immediately from then I started searching everywhere… Then when the series were showing in the local tv station few months back, arrhh I was even more ‘lustful’ to the songs… Till today, finally finally… I got them from a China website. So hidden, gotta rename the extension before saving… Announcing the two numbers, Twenty years by Bob Waters and Knock on my door by Rebecca Blaylock. Gosh… when you find the very thing that makes you deeply indulged and relaxed, it’s greater than any drugs on earth. (if you want them let me know… ha)

Few hours earlier I ran away again with Marcus as my laoya neighbour were simply distracting me from my work. I was still thinking where to head to while driving, as I wanted a place I can make myself comfortable. I finally settled down at Ka Fei Guan in Melaka Raya (behind main road near DiGi center). It used to be one of my favourite lepak place and I’ve not been there for a long long time. It was a good, feels like coming back to a familiar place after long wander. The two bosses were still friendly, the cafe interior was still nostalgic and cozy, the music played was still calming, the coffee smell was still identically indulging and the beverages were still… mmm nice! And being there alone is yet another beautiful encounter… Oh things are just so perfectly blended… Everything must have been so beautiful putting a big smile on my face when I leave - the boss gave me discounts for my two drinks, heh.

I’ve not had such a beautiful Saturday evening like this for a long time. Was used to be busy with work… and yeah I asked for not to work today - to give way to my writing of course. Sorta like ponteng kerja… heh ;-p

Mood:  …greater than any drugs on earth
Music: Twenty years, by Bob Waters

 

Bengang you see…

Too much of something makes bad things… or perhaps make things bad.

Thousands and millions of the ‘literature review’ phrase finally got me up to my nerves. Plus the ever tail-gating due dates and due dates… due dates!! I’m feeling half-hanging now… kinda like going nowhere. I started to hate this phrase already… it got my brain heavily squeezed in the past few weeks and I became more and more bengang unless it will end one day.

Kicking away the rush and numbs in me, I ran away with Marcus for a breather just few hours before the clock strike that signified the arrival of the nation’s 50 years of independence and glory.

I even managed to catch a glimpse of the fireworks on the Kota Laksamana flyover and uttered a faithful ‘Happy Merdeka Malaysia’ while sliding down the road with free gear. Met some friends and settled down at a Pakistanis open restaurant. At our table, there were Chinese, Eurasian, Chindian, Indonesian, Indian and Pujerati among ‘em - a good depict of multinational indeed. I wasn’t in the mood of talking much, but was stuffed with plenty of nice stories sharing, thanks to Ms D and Pris. Not much words were uttered but indeed had a good smiles and laughs - I guess much needed for the healing of my bengang-ness??

I bought a DVD for myself before call it a day. I was flipping to many titles and compilations, but most of it didn’t really seemed exciting for me… eventually I settled down for a choice and this is what I got.

Ms D: Asyik cartoon only. So many nice titles you pointed to me just now, no other better one to buy ah?
Me: (With the bengang face) 最近生活压力大，所以需要看很多卡通片…… (Translate: Baru-baru ni banyak tekanan hidup, jadi kena tengok banyak kartun……)
Ms D: (Shakes head and speechless…)

I’m feeling bengang, but still sane and clear enough to wish my beloved country for a stronger, better and more united tomorrow…

Mood: Bengang lo…
Music: I love you always forever, by Donna Lewis

 

Sue me not…

While majority of the people think it portrays exactly what’s on their mind, while it is exactly a great opportunity great time and great cause to ponder about the issue and read or listen between the lines… Why there are still some tonto estupido media to seek the so-called high rated opinion from those so-called high thinkers and yet monkey-faced and crap-brained once-or-even-more-time-caught-and-reported-publicly-talking-cock pol|t|c|ans and fcukingly got published with the cracked-head mug shots with the look-like-pubic-hair stuffs on their face and head???

We know who they were. And we know who they are. We know! We know what kinda shitty remark they made, used to make, and still making. We still know!! We know what’s on their mind and we know what’s their agenda. We do know! And yet there are still those tonto estupido players to crookedly so-called reporting-the-truth to simply wave their pen but actually what they do are nothing but the real and truer-than-anything-else tactics that actually stirring the so-called racial issues… Now who is patriotic?? Who is really loving the country as one nation and hoping it gets development, both physically and mentally?? 是谁在煽动? 是谁容易被煽动? 是谁选择在威权下跟大队答腔, 而又是谁选择冷静以客观角度看事情? Real that such a big deal…?

I rest my case…

Mood: Intense and still like rojak… cos still lots of work to be done
Music: Dikalo (salt pop corn), by Manu Dibango

 

Rebelliously stuck

Some time back, Ben excitedly told me about this number that mesmerized him so much, by keeping that very number playing over and over again, throughout the few hours of monthly inventory routine.

Hardly as I used to, paid too much attention on new songs - I’m slow altogether in this and if you know me, you’ll know. So other than thinking the rhythm and percussion setting were good and the chorous were somewhat a catchy tune to me, not much thought were put on since then…

Today I got that very number playing again. And out of curiosity, I got it somewhere from the Internet despite my suppose-to-be-doing-work state of mood. And not long after that I got myself a copy of the lyrics too… then I started to really listen to it - and that’s my way - if you know me you know.

Don’t know why I just started to like it, and I guess the “likeliness” is still increasing. Unlike its name, which was also repeated throughout the chorous, my tears just couldn’t stop flowing, especially when going through the lyrics line by line… Not that I was saddened, but I was rather touched. It’s a triggering number indeed… that put me into the whirlpool of old and present memories.

Big girls don’t cry… the more the phrase was sung the more rebellious my tears would be, but all were in smile. Was it because my tiredness over the days? Or my weary eyes with no good rest? Or the indulgence-sorta-thing after the long good conversations since the passed two days…? But I know I pretty enjoy this kinda tear-flow, which probably causes no harm but good reflection and contemplation… despite the fact that I was kinda exhausted for the past few days.

I got stuck again. But I guess it was a good stuck…

Mood: Rojak… all jumbled up
Music: Big girls don’t cry, by Fergie (see lyric below)

note: Marcus is running great now - but I ain’t gonna turn him into a mad cow yet… :-)  in fact, this is the third post written with him as my platform.

 

Menceceh je…

I took back Marcus today… although it was still dumb. The driver for the sound card and bluetooth are still not working properly for the time being… but already I need to hijack it back from GM out of desperation – with notes of nearing a hundred pages, I have no idea to print them all out and just study for one time and throw aside. And it’s definitely not environmental friendly too… for over-using paper.

I guess I’ll send Marcus to a technician in the next few days, instead of keep bothering GM…

What do I think about Marcus? Okay so far but no further comments until I have him fully performing and running like a mad cow… *evil grins*

I don’t know if machines, like my desktop PC or Marcus, would also feel ‘kecil hati’?? Since I brought back Marcus and put it to battery charging, I tried to turn on the desktop PC. And guess what, it said “Boot failure. Please insert boot disk in drive A and bla bla bla”… What a…! Before I went out it was still running like normal. Really so ‘xiao qi’ meh…? Hmm… scratch head.

It’s around 5 in the morning now. My paper would start at 8.30am and followed by a talk of which attendance will be taken. And before going for the paper I need to send off both mommy and papa for their early bus ride to Kampar, Ipoh to visit my ill 7th uncle. If not because of the tight schedule, I hope I could drive them there and pay uncle a visit too…

For this little hours left, I guess I’ll grab some minutes for a brief rest before heading for my battling of the day. After all, still another two more papers to go on Saturday and next week…Like Ms D once said about my life, it’s like to the fullest most of the time - when I’m busy with work, I’d be freaking tight up with no day no night; and when I’m idle, I’d be sleeping or resting like no tomorrow too… Hmm… good or bad??? ;-|

I know I seldom write like this… but for the sake of taking a tiny little break from reading slides and notes on Marcus, just let me ‘menceceh’ a lil’ here… as after all, I have no one to talk to at this wee hours of the day…

 

Chaos… and my Marcus de Negro

One word described it all…

Got myself a new laptop few days back - a Compaq Presario V3000. It should be something to feel excited about but it’s just not that - it’s still dumb and still not with me for more than an hour after it was declared mine. I guess some time still need to be given before my little blacky could run in tip top condition alongside with my work… Thinking of giving it a name… got the idea of ‘marcus de negro’ since I keep telling Ms Debbie that my laptop is a masculine one and ofcoz, negro as it’s in black, and so the whole thing looks definitely ‘manly’ by nature - ahem! Heh…

I’m having three mid-term papers starting tomorrow consequtively and I guess I’ll be biting books and notes in the coming few days… still there are many things to read to write to plan to do… And also am getting another new boss at work… hmmm more question marks ahead.

Heerrrmmmm… when will I get to hug my ‘Marcus de Negro’ for real…?

Mood: A bit guilty - should be studying now and not blogging!
Music: Getaran Jiwa by P. Ramlee

 

A little update…?

I came home today, for dinner.

Heard the conversation over, that he’s coming back with his family tomorrow.

My fist thought appeared on mind - ‘I won’t come home in the next few days.’

I’m saddened that I had this thought, but I guess there’s not much I could do to help.

For once I used to love coming home…

But I guess soon I need a new definition for home…

I wanted to be brave and seek breakthrough… maybe to see him again

But I’m not sure if I’m ready…

And I do not wish to get hurt again like what happened last time.

It was rather suicidal than just pain…

I guess… I should just put it aside for the time being…

For now… there’s just one thing on my mind - the special you that have saved my days, whose now thousand miles away

I am happy that I’ve found you - I think I am.

Mood: Contemplated
Music: Yi qi chi ku de xing fu, by Emil Chow Wakin (give me the Chinese word please anyone? No Chinese support here…)

 

Unmoved

I’m the lost hero in the Kilimanjaro…

Haywire all round… with stories after stories to clear, articles after articles to read, matters after matters to look into to deal with to solve and… again to deal with…
And yet… with less hours for rest, and less time for conversation with me, myself and I…

For things that pulling my hair the most, would be the messed-up biological clock and all those nitty-gritty of getting the car loan approved… after all, all other helluva sour-sweet-bitter-spicy thingy are still expecting ahead…

Duh… I’m still… the lost hero in the Kilimanjaro…

 

Protected: LL03: Thousand miles away

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Lost Hero… in the Kilimanjaro - quoted

I think I’m in danger mode…

My mood to write simply doesn’t kick in… no write for personal stuffs… and not even writing for work unless I was being chased on…

Arhh what happened to me…

I just feel that some part of me is missing…

Mood: Lost and procastinating
Music: Always in my heart by Los Indios Tabajaras