Cry baby, cry!

People say
Love is blind

I say
Love is blind
But not the person

So open your eyes
And look

—

I once read
Do not cry for a man who doesn’t worth your tears
For the one who worth ‘em
Will never make you cry

I thought
Tears flow because you do love
And you do care
And at times
Tears flow because we see things better
Much better than how we used to
So
Cry for your realizations
And sensibility
For no longer trapped in the game of emotion
Shouldn’t you?

Things that were wondered all the time
May never have an answer
Holding on or letting go
Say and perhaps, end it all…

So cry baby, cry!

 

Final exam… and music

It’s just the time of every trimester again – final exam. Been trying to slowly revising and biting some notes after I officially off from any form of work, be they brewing the best cup of cappuccino or going here and they and come back with stories.

As commonly said, it’s hard to get started. But once you do, you will most probably be fine after that. Sounds like what happens to my old car’s engine every time before it could go smoothly on the road… Heh

Time of burying my head to the notes and papers also means time for getting stuck in some good numbers whenever a breather is needed. Means? Well… the number will keep playing and playing and playing whenever I needed a time off from the books, or to go together along… And this time, I’m happy to announce, not one but two are in the list. And to top it up, managed to find them again somewhere from the net… Both of them were hits during the 80’s – the era when I was happily growing up.

Mood: Trying to focus
Music: Click more to find out…

 

Oh my…

Oh my God… kiss me kiss me… I’ve just submitted the ever-torturing literature review aka journal summary for this Retail Management subject to my group leader. I am feeling so so so, I mean, real much more lighter compared to the few days back zombie-me. Basically it made me like a zombie was because no quotings were allowed in the writings, which meant everything had to be from my brain. So understanding the journals was a MUST. And I was responsible for two journals, one with 8 pages and another with 22…! But anyway, things ended, finally! Although there will still be further reports to be written for this subject and Sales Management subject soon, but I guess they won’t drag me down so much, as more time frame were given, and they’re more intellectual based with the help of journals - I can goreng my own stories and they’re not that much of restrictions.

Aight, put those academic thingy aside - and share my moments of carefree-ness for a while.

I finally found myself this two numbers from the Internet. It was like a fruitless search for the past twenty years… so rare and I guess not many people know them. Couldn’t even see them in P2P… I bummed into them when I was watching a HK drama series “Dreams of Colours” few years back. Immediately from then I started searching everywhere… Then when the series were showing in the local tv station few months back, arrhh I was even more ‘lustful’ to the songs… Till today, finally finally… I got them from a China website. So hidden, gotta rename the extension before saving… Announcing the two numbers, Twenty years by Bob Waters and Knock on my door by Rebecca Blaylock. Gosh… when you find the very thing that makes you deeply indulged and relaxed, it’s greater than any drugs on earth. (if you want them let me know… ha)

Few hours earlier I ran away again with Marcus as my laoya neighbour were simply distracting me from my work. I was still thinking where to head to while driving, as I wanted a place I can make myself comfortable. I finally settled down at Ka Fei Guan in Melaka Raya (behind main road near DiGi center). It used to be one of my favourite lepak place and I’ve not been there for a long long time. It was a good, feels like coming back to a familiar place after long wander. The two bosses were still friendly, the cafe interior was still nostalgic and cozy, the music played was still calming, the coffee smell was still identically indulging and the beverages were still… mmm nice! And being there alone is yet another beautiful encounter… Oh things are just so perfectly blended… Everything must have been so beautiful putting a big smile on my face when I leave - the boss gave me discounts for my two drinks, heh.

I’ve not had such a beautiful Saturday evening like this for a long time. Was used to be busy with work… and yeah I asked for not to work today - to give way to my writing of course. Sorta like ponteng kerja… heh ;-p

Mood:  …greater than any drugs on earth
Music: Twenty years, by Bob Waters

 

Sue me not…

While majority of the people think it portrays exactly what’s on their mind, while it is exactly a great opportunity great time and great cause to ponder about the issue and read or listen between the lines… Why there are still some tonto estupido media to seek the so-called high rated opinion from those so-called high thinkers and yet monkey-faced and crap-brained once-or-even-more-time-caught-and-reported-publicly-talking-cock pol|t|c|ans and fcukingly got published with the cracked-head mug shots with the look-like-pubic-hair stuffs on their face and head???

We know who they were. And we know who they are. We know! We know what kinda shitty remark they made, used to make, and still making. We still know!! We know what’s on their mind and we know what’s their agenda. We do know! And yet there are still those tonto estupido players to crookedly so-called reporting-the-truth to simply wave their pen but actually what they do are nothing but the real and truer-than-anything-else tactics that actually stirring the so-called racial issues… Now who is patriotic?? Who is really loving the country as one nation and hoping it gets development, both physically and mentally?? 是谁在煽动? 是谁容易被煽动? 是谁选择在威权下跟大队答腔, 而又是谁选择冷静以客观角度看事情? Real that such a big deal…?

I rest my case…

Mood: Intense and still like rojak… cos still lots of work to be done
Music: Dikalo (salt pop corn), by Manu Dibango

 

Rebelliously stuck

Some time back, Ben excitedly told me about this number that mesmerized him so much, by keeping that very number playing over and over again, throughout the few hours of monthly inventory routine.

Hardly as I used to, paid too much attention on new songs - I’m slow altogether in this and if you know me, you’ll know. So other than thinking the rhythm and percussion setting were good and the chorous were somewhat a catchy tune to me, not much thought were put on since then…

Today I got that very number playing again. And out of curiosity, I got it somewhere from the Internet despite my suppose-to-be-doing-work state of mood. And not long after that I got myself a copy of the lyrics too… then I started to really listen to it - and that’s my way - if you know me you know.

Don’t know why I just started to like it, and I guess the “likeliness” is still increasing. Unlike its name, which was also repeated throughout the chorous, my tears just couldn’t stop flowing, especially when going through the lyrics line by line… Not that I was saddened, but I was rather touched. It’s a triggering number indeed… that put me into the whirlpool of old and present memories.

Big girls don’t cry… the more the phrase was sung the more rebellious my tears would be, but all were in smile. Was it because my tiredness over the days? Or my weary eyes with no good rest? Or the indulgence-sorta-thing after the long good conversations since the passed two days…? But I know I pretty enjoy this kinda tear-flow, which probably causes no harm but good reflection and contemplation… despite the fact that I was kinda exhausted for the past few days.

I got stuck again. But I guess it was a good stuck…

Mood: Rojak… all jumbled up
Music: Big girls don’t cry, by Fergie (see lyric below)

note: Marcus is running great now - but I ain’t gonna turn him into a mad cow yet… :-)  in fact, this is the third post written with him as my platform.

 

Bedtime murmurs

Brought back this CD some days ago. And now only I have some stolen time to listen to it. Why stolen? I had to as I should’ve been on the bed and not in front of this pc. Couldn’t help much, it’s Scorpion’s.

It’s Scorpion’s Still Loving You. Another very indulging number. Kinda hooked with it since… don’t know when. And the other numbers on the double CD compilation is just awesome. Mainly slow rock that give moderate beats, simple beautiful instruments and finite voice. And this kinda threatens my wake up time later - it’s already 2am now and there’s morning class and work assignment waiting. But what a heck, I like the indulgence. And smack me for that…

Have been away from the mood of writing for some time… I mean the mood of personal writing, just for my own sake and no other reasons involved. There were so so so much on mind all the while and obviously, the flicks in my mind was simply moving thousand times faster than my hands. Sometimes I was kinda thinking, would these happenings be forgotten by me before I could manage to jot ‘em down? No witness… or maybe no? Two brains always work better than one, isn’t it? And you know who you are.

Several, or perhaps plenty of significances shown as time goes by. There were times of heart wrenching and tearful laughters; there were times of escapes and thrown away; there were the remembered and the forbidden; there were the merging of two individuals and also the farewell to the olden buddies; there were goodbye and hello; there were also decisions of giving and taking… Probably all spices were in to the mill called life. And among them, some were dealt with, some were taken, and some were just gotten used to, or simply put aside. Sometimes you just can’t bother much, uh… or is it simply an excuse for not feeling guilty…?

As the New Year started till now, although it wasn’t smooth all the way, but life has been good so far. And it is slowly progressing to the expected point. Hope yours is good too.

Mood: Hypnotizing myself to sleep
Music: Holiday, by Scorpions

 

Floating

I’m not sure if this is good or bad. It doesn’t seem to have a standard. Because of this and that, it has to be so and so. And yet when all these are like so and so, there’s a little feeling underneath that keeps triggering inconstantly… does it has to be that way? Is there no other alternatives? Or any better options instead of this…? Things do not seemingly to have a finite answer for the time being… but as time passes by, it is sure to come.

*While I am able to dicipline myself; why restrict me?*

Mood: Floating instead of rushing for assignment
Music: White rabbit, by Jefferson Airplane

 

White rabbit

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don’t do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she’s ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you’re going to fall
Tell ‘em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call Alice
When she was just small

When men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you’ve just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low
Go ask Alice
I think she’ll know

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen’s off with her head!
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head
Feed your head
Feed your head
__________________________________

One nice number that once keep stucked on my mind. Till now still one of my favourites. Classic rock feel intro with a solo definite beat, followed by a another rocker feeling electrical guitar… then there’s Jefferson’s voice. The whole thing made a perfect finish. But looking at the lyrics, it still gives me plenty, I mean real plenty of space to ponder about… *rolls eyes*

 

Potrait

The beauty of lines & curves - painted by God.

 

Sick and song

After one week of negotiation with my biological administrator, I finally fall sick… Negotiation down. Supposed to be working now. But situation really doesn’t allow me to punch in. Thank you very much my dear Ejean, for replacing me…

But it is at least good that I’m ill after I’ve finished recording the song for Lin Peh’s Christmas sing song project. Else I dare not to imagine how darn I’m gonna sing with that sick voice! It’s gonna be really sound like pulling the “zhu lar” up to the tree…

I remember there were few times, I blog about a certain song keeps playing on my mind, or keep me stucked. Now there’s another one - 穷途末路 by Terry 林志炫. Many years back already loved this song so much when I heard it on the radio. And that time, there were no computer no mp3. But time is so different now, and last few days I’ve just found this mp3 somewhere and managed to download it. Listen to this song again, appreciating the words and Terry’s beautiful voice… Oh what a wonderful feeling for a sick person like me.

穷途末路 - 林志炫
这真的叫做　穷途末路
我只能苦笑　你也不想哭
我们不能不看个清楚
尴尬的收拾　这个错误

也许是当初　一时糊涂
你得过且过　我也不在乎
别人用我们定义幸福
我们爱起来　格外辛苦

就是凭着最初那份悸动　错把恋爱当作生活
忽略了　我们竟是如此不同
当我们放弃　不再触碰彼此内心深处伤口
犹豫中　我们一再错过

错过了最适合厮守的时候　总以为准备还不够
一起过日子的念头　深深藏着谁都不说
错过了最适合分手的时候　不甘心就这样罢手
错过了让我们终于能保留给彼此的最后承诺
明知到了尽头　谁也不忍心开口
(明知到了尽头　谁也不肯先开口)

p/s: Stream a snippet of this song here.