I’m never lucky

It’s just farcically laughable… but I think am a person with bad karma… Never a lucky one to get any good deals or offer. Windfall is just a far cry from life. And often there will be obstacles for every attempt of reaching out…

It happened again. Almost during or right before every critical times in life, something would pop up and stood as a hindrance. It just keep stirring every psychological bit of you, till you have so much and that alot of stuffs on mind, that deadly trying to pull you off from the track you should be on.

I couldn’t help but striving hard to deal with every bit of it, telling myself there’s no way to afford such more hindrance at this time, because any mistakes in between would just cost! Be they time, effort, money and emotion. I can only tell myself to buckle up and continue walking without looking much to what’s on my left and right… Or else, I would fall hard. Real hard.

There were times I was just few dials away, but eventually the handset had to be put down. I couldn’t foresee what might come ahead from the other end, that might throw me into another swirl of emotion battle. There’s no reason to be pathetic right now, other than keeping my spirit high with plenty of facts and figures for the papers coming ahead. 

Mood: Don’t let me down when I deserved to be up
Music: Turn back the clock, by Johnny Hates Jazz

 

No bluff…? Blinking eyes…

Babe sayng is coming back!

Yay!

And my eyes are still blinking… will probably talk more on this in the next post. I’ve been busy… aight? Heh!

Mood: Good
Music: By your side, by Sade

 

Brief, but mushy

Sayng: Baby, sayang sakit. I had fever…
Me: Aww kesiannye… still work today?
Sayng: Ya la… worked. Feeling a bit dizzy here…
Me: Have you seen doctor? Got medicine?
Sayng: Yeah dah… and I’m going to have some rest after this…
Me: Hmm good. If feeling not well then don’t go for work la, just rest.
Sayng: Will see how then, I might get better… but now I feel pening… I want pao-pao, and kiss kiss…
Me: Ya la… Babe rest good okie I give you pao-pao and kiss kiss, and some light massage on your neck and shoulder yeah… then you will get well very soon…
Sayng: Mmmm… sedapnye sayang…
Me: Kate I manja… you lagi manja…
Sayng: I kan sakit… heh

What great sms or call could do to you…? It reminds me of something similar way back some time ago… and it’s still proven, that the power of technology is still standing tall in supplementing our expressions… no?

And again, a thousand miles away you can just offer anything… *_*

Mood: Light
Music: Always in my heart (soundtrack), by Los Indios Tabajaras

 

A little update…?

I came home today, for dinner.

Heard the conversation over, that he’s coming back with his family tomorrow.

My fist thought appeared on mind – ‘I won’t come home in the next few days.’

I’m saddened that I had this thought, but I guess there’s not much I could do to help.

For once I used to love coming home…

But I guess soon I need a new definition for home…

I wanted to be brave and seek breakthrough… maybe to see him again

But I’m not sure if I’m ready…

And I do not wish to get hurt again like what happened last time.

It was rather suicidal than just pain…

I guess… I should just put it aside for the time being…

For now… there’s just one thing on my mind – the special you that have saved my days, whose now thousand miles away

I am happy that I’ve found you – I think I am.

Mood: Contemplated
Music: Yi qi chi ku de xing fu, by Emil Chow Wakin (give me the Chinese word please anyone? No Chinese support here…)

 

Protected: LL03: Thousand miles away

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Protected: LL02: Watery

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Protected: LL01: Away

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The journey between before & after

Remember the post about “before & after” in Pengkalan Balak? Now let the in between journey comes in…

Before…

Walking on the path that leads to the island.

A 180 degree turn around, looking back at the shore.

A kind of grass seen while walking in between the jungle on the island.

Came out from the bushes and saw the land of stones.

Some close look at the small stones.

Big stones, with signs of oysters grown on it (or am I wrong?)… Sayng said it’s called “teritip” in Malay…

Look aside at the seaview, got trees nearby on the shore and there’s even another similar island further up. Pulau Konet Dua???

Back to the island, seen a small cave… I definitely cannot go in, haha!

A snapshot on the stones underneath our feet. Yeah, the fair ones are mine… hehee.

Proceeded crawling up higher, found a big stone with a big hole. Kinda wonder what happened to it…

Alright… the human being was not the focus and so better off concealling. Look at the beach, the stones as well as the panaromic view behind… Yeah, there were in fact a few people fishing at a far end (unseen, on the right of this picture) on this island.

Hehehe… Actually this place is very near to Tanjung Bidara. In fact, you’ll reach Pengkalan Balak first before reaching Tanjung Bidara. You can see there’s a power generator plant nearby…

There goes. After about 30 minutes we stepped out of the island.

Not much photos were taken after the previous one, as we were back to the front of the island and noticed that the sea water level were rising – half of the path was already unseen! So we need to be careful and fast to walk back to the path and get out of there. Else, we’d be trapped and need to wait until around 9 p.m. at night when the water level goes down again – I guess those fishing people also will leave at that time…

I still remember, the water level reached our knee and slowly above it while we were walking back… Ha! Felt so vulnerable!

 

As time goes by

Life has been very busy. Still I always caught running here and there… But apart from that life has many sweet things to offer too. Of course for the very good reasons on earth… and things are just worth the time spent.

After moving to wordpress from blogspot, don’t know why… things just slowly do not seem right here. I mean the template… the fonts, the colours, the para settings and etc. And I simply couldn’t apply any change on them. Sad thing it is. Hmm… let’s see what can I figure out later…

Babe sayng is coming back today! After leaving here back to kampung on merdeka eve. It’s been 5 days we’re parted and finally… Ha. Missing is not a nice game to play. And I guess that’s why it tends to enhance the bound between a relationship.

Mood: Hungry
Music: Come what may, by Air Supply

 

Any better word than love?

When you don’t see him, you tend to miss him. He’ll just spontaneously pop up in your mind… be it welcomed or uninvited. When he’s with you, you just wished time could stop there to allow more space to be spent together. When he’s close, you wished he’d be closer to be reached within a stretch of arm. When he’s far, you would always recall all sweet moments and lil’ touches with those delightful laughters together. When you want hug hug, he’s there to embrace you with a warm big bear hug. When you want kiss kiss, he’s there to run his tender loving lips on yours. When you want someone to cry to, he’s always there with that welcoming shoulders and arms. When you want someone to lend an ear, he’s always there to be quietly listening. When you need some advise, he’s there always ready to answer… With the right person, there’re laughters chatters visions passions and sparks everywhere…! I know I don’t sound like who I used to be, but it’s just the another me. Like he always says, manje-nye babe… Oops! And he’s right…

Mood: I feel good
Music: My babe just cares for me, by Cindy Lauper